Jonathan Shradar

Today on Twitter a freelance writer asked the ether if she was the only one that has faced slowness in the writing process during the pandemic. A pastor I follow chimed in that for him even the sermon writing process was feeling more difficult. These two, and others I have heard from, match the struggle I have been having. Wondering where the words are. I am not a prolific writer, other than the weekly sermon (I supposed that's a ten page paper each week, researched, outlined, and drafted), I haven't had the itch to start new projects or even put thoughts in my journal. Perhaps there is a numbness that follows so much news, and so many opposing views. An exhaustion in processing said information and trying to communicate decisions to a varied audience. Or maybe we can add creativity to the list of enterprises devastated by COVID! I remain hopeful. Words will come. After all, plenty of people are saying and penning very thorough pieces pertaining to the pandemic and politics. I

The life of following Jesus is a fair bit of waiting. You have a desire for transformation, for your heart and mind to change. After all its promised, its sanctification, becoming more like Christ. There are moments of advance, or revision, or renewal, of revealing. But there are also a lot of moments of waiting. Expand this reality to pastoral ministry and the ache for these things moves from a longing for personal change to something larger, for a body of believers, for a real move of God to grow his kingdom and his people. That's what I have been feeling. A big take away for me from the last couple of weeks of a break is how growth comes in rest. Did you know your body grows when you are asleep? Soil is an unsuitable environment for vegetation to grow if it is constantly turned over and disturbed. Spring comes after a winter rest. I have been trying to find these moments of rest, for me and the church, over the last months but it has been increasingly difficult. The pandemic and

For the last week and a half, our family has been "hiding in the woods" of Oregon for some much desired and needed time away. And as one does, as we approach the end of our vacation I have been reflecting on whether I have found the refreshment or rest that I thought I needed. I think so. For me time away from the regular schedule and demands are times to dream and scheme. I usually come away from short sabbaticals with a list of new challenges or ideas to tackle. This trip has some of this but not nearly the typical crush of tasks to take on. I think a big part of this is that we still don't know what the next months hold. As virus infections continue to rise in the U.S. and the likelihood of another lock-down seems necessary the church remains in the a flexible posture and we keep preaching the word and trusting the Spirit to move among us (even if we are apart). I think the other reason I don't have a huge dream list from this trip is that what I need is not new dr